SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I know there are no crystal balls, but I'm wondering if the majority of cheaters who leave end up regretting their choice. We had 28 years of stability and love that he left over a 6 week affair. I'm now alone in a house that's too big for just me. I haven't eaten since I found out 5 days ago. I can't stop crying. I just want to know that, one day, he'll come to regret leaving a life of love and stability, bc we were great. He even told a therapist (that he was seeing for unrelated reasons) immediately before this happened how incredibly good we've been doing for so many years. I'm just lost. He's rewriting history now and is very much so in the fog.

Yes he will regret it.

But he may never admit it to you (or anyone).

An affair is not based in reality. It’s based on a fantasy. The cheaters are living in a dopamine bubble where everything is "perfect".

No kids or bills or in-laws to worry about. No illnesses or serious work issues etc b/c they hide from it for the few hours they are together. Someone else is dealing with that stuff for them.

Why do you think second marriages often don’t last? Odds are stacked against them for a bunch of reasons - especially if the marriage started out as an affair.

One of them will most likely cheat when the going gets tough. And don’t be obligated to have sympathy for him when he gets dumped.

Thank you, 1stwife. I'm hurting so badly and just want to know that, at some point, it'll be tossed right back to him. I just can't believe he did this to me after so long together and after telling everyone how happy we are. It makes no sense to me no matter how hard I try to make it make sense. I'm devastated.

I don’t know how old you are but it could be the typical (cliched) mid life crisis. I lived through one of those.

I had a similar experience but mine was out of the blue. One night - 💥 boom! He’s having an affair. Next week I find out he’s kicking me to the curb for the much younger OW. No fight or drama. Just - he’s bored, he’s aging, he needs validation from someone other woman and I’m out.

We did survive it but barely.

Things changed b/c I changed. I stopped being a doormat, kicked him to the curb and planned to D him.

Suddenly he’s begging ME to reconcile. It took me a year to actually believe he really meant it.

I strongly urge you to find some professional counseling for yourself. It saved my sanity and helped me get my exit strategy together just in case.

You may need a good lawyer too. You will survive this. We all do. But right now your life is upended and you need support.

Not from the cheater btw.

Read up on the 180. Do what you can to protect yourself.