Proper anger isn’t necessarily bad. Anger drives action. I’m not suggesting being Mr Angry and breaking walls and stuff. You are an abuse victim and feelings of anger are what you *should* have. Listen, I’m not suggesting you are doing anything wrong. I’ll be honest, it kind of feels a little rug sweepy.
Atleast half the retellings of people’s stories here have model spouses after discovery that are not model people. Those are kind of crappy odds aren’t they? Admittedly this forum may have a little selection bias if you’re analyzing it for trends, but poke around here a bit and you’ll see common themes start to emerge.
I’m a tech guy. I can give you 500 other ways to contact an affair partner that do not involve tracking a phone bill or following phone location. If you worked for me running an analysis on a device I’d suggest that were being negligent. Checking for app battery usage, hidden apps, burner phones, sharing Google Docs and appending messages there instead of texting, hidden email accounts, meetups at ‘normal’ places, leaving notes, arranging a blackout period until the smoke blows over, etc.
Remorseful wives will hate their affair partner. Yours is still so in love with her partner that she risked a call under the figurative broad daylight. That isn’t just a red flag, that’s Hilk Hogan standing on top of a mountain waving a 20’ flag while the soundtrack of Rocky IV plays over load speakers.
Forensic her phone, boil her loser lover alive (figuratively) and see how she reacts, polygraph her. You need answers and you’re not getting them. You didn’t suspect her lying for months so it’s an accepted fact that you don’t have a perfect radar for that. None of us do. That’s why there are these best practices. It’s a healthy and extremely vetted procedure that produces the best results possible under really crappy circumstances.
We are roooting for you a ton and just want to see you come out the other side a strong l, happy person who is excited to live life.
