limerickence (original poster new member #87177) posted at 3:50 PM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2026
Stevesn:
Where is she going. Whom is she with?
I can't be thinking like this. I just can't. I have to be able to trust her. She told me things she didn't have to tell me, and she's under no illusion about where I stand now. We've made real progress and I want to keep it that way.
InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 6:30 PM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2026
I can't be thinking like this. I just can't. I have to be able to trust her. She told me things she didn't have to tell me, and she's under no illusion about where I stand now.
Trust is the last thing you should do with her right now. That is fully against your self interest.
My xWW confessed, but confessed lies to minimize. She told me things that she could have hidden at times, and at the same time kept massive elements of the affair from me, including things relevant to my daughter’s well being. I know where you are coming from on this, but when you are dealing with someone who has left honesty behind, the possibilities are endless and mind bending.
I think you need to get used to making some waves, friend. You matter.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
limerickence (original poster new member #87177) posted at 8:39 PM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2026
InkHulk: My daughter is an adult now, and indeed my WW will be with her for most of these three weeks. If my WW has been lying to me, she will become my xWW. But I believe her intent, and I choose to make myself vulnerable to her. If I'm wrong, so be it.
torso1500, OhItsYou: For this reason and others, I don't think codependency is what's going on here. I've read the first half of the book and skim-read the second, and most of it simply doesn't match. Nor is she an alcoholic; I think her initial claim not to really remember how it all happened was mostly a self-defence shame response.
