Inawe (original poster new member #87402) posted at 6:28 PM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2026
I know there are no crystal balls, but I'm wondering if the majority of cheaters who leave end up regretting their choice. We had 28 years of stability and love that he left over a 6 week affair. I'm now alone in a house that's too big for just me. I haven't eaten since I found out 5 days ago. I can't stop crying. I just want to know that, one day, he'll come to regret leaving a life of love and stability, bc we were great. He even told a therapist (that he was seeing for unrelated reasons) immediately before this happened how incredibly good we've been doing for so many years. I'm just lost. He's rewriting history now and is very much so in the fog.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 7:41 PM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2026
Yes he will regret it.
But he may never admit it to you (or anyone).
An affair is not based in reality. It’s based on a fantasy. The cheaters are living in a dopamine bubble where everything is "perfect". 
No kids or bills or in-laws to worry about. No illnesses or serious work issues etc b/c they hide from it for the few hours they are together. Someone else is dealing with that stuff for them.
Why do you think second marriages often don’t last? Odds are stacked against them for a bunch of reasons - especially if the marriage started out as an affair.
One of them will most likely cheat when the going gets tough. And don’t be obligated to have sympathy for him when he gets dumped.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
