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So very sorry for you.

But it’s not your choice it’s a Hobson choice

Your further dilemma is if you are to push very hard with the terms of the divorce which may shake them both to their boots at this time and she came to her senses as it were where could you go she’s already made her choice -if she came back and left breaking her company involvement she would be impossible to live with.

I think you can only pursue a scorched earth outcome in this.

And I think the circumstances re the company were merely a smokescreen

If she was willing to bin you and your family to keep the company and her AP at this point

Once the future was clear for them i fear that yourself and the family were always destined for this same fate

A secure future with her AP was I think her real objective all along when the company became successful

So sorry for you.

You are doing the right thing.

She doesn't see any way to preserve herself (professionally? socially?) if she were to drop the company now.

The fact preserving herself still looks like what she needs to do about work rather than her family gives you all the information you need to know right now.

A person in this headspace is not prepared for the rigors that are required for reconciliation. It’s a very difficult process that requires a lot of dedication and focus. Working on myself and keeping my marriage was easily its own full time job with overtime.

I am so sorry because I know how painful this is for you on so many levels. But staying in this paradigm would be so detrimental to you and your children that it would be worse than the alternatives.

Be on guard after you have the conversation with the kids, Soon2B. I would be honest with them since they are old enough (without the gritty details but do identify your WW's boyfriend to them.) It is not uncommon for Waywards to go off the rails when consequences start raining down on them and they feel backed into a corner. On the flip side, your WW may attempt a Hail Mary to continue in the marriage-- financial inducements, offers of one-sided open marriage for you etc. Be on guard and protect yourself.

Damn, as many have predicted, your stbx found it perfect the way things were, with her company, lover, reputation and you on the side. Anything less is a personal attack on her. No remorse, no love, just cringe. I am so sorry for you and your children, but you have made the right choice for yourself and as a father. You all can recover from divorce, you would have much more trouble recovering from the abusive relationship that your marriage has become.

I think you are in a position where you could try to destroy APs life work. That would be revenge.

[This message edited by Itiswhatitis000 at 8:21 PM, Wednesday, October 21st]

Bigger,

Your last post was full of logic and I can’t argue with any of it, but you do leave out the variable of sex and how powerful it can be. Hell, It’s powerful enough to bring down a two term president and shit all over his legacy, just for a bj.
Had a former client who’s company was valued at around 250m who’s wife caught him banging his secretary. Ended up having to go bankrupt and selling off the company in pieces.

I agree with OhItsYou. Success comes with a good amount of hubris more often then not. One popular way of expressing it is risky illicit sex. I already wrote in a comment under another of OPs posts that it sounds like this is what may have happened to his wife. It's clear now that she thinks that rules that apply to mare mortals don't apply to her anymore and it seems to be all connected with her position and inflated self image. It's our 5 minutes now baby, let's fuck.