My reco is to distinguish between healing and the disposition of your M. You need to get grounded again, and that means starting to process the grief, anger, fear, shame, etc. out of your body. That will help you think more clearly. Your posts make me think you've done that. A good IC can help.
Understand that your healing has to include integrating your experience into your life story. Your W did these things, and ignoring that is to lie to yourself, which is a terrible idea. Honesty is the best policy, especially with yourself.
IMO, love is a prerequisite for R, but it's far from sufficient in itself.
You're 5 months out, which is still the beginning of healing. Both R and D are possibilities. I understand you want a quick solution; I certainly did - that's where the 'soon' part of my ID came in. But it simply takes a long time to find out of R will work. I wanted an optimal answer to the stay/go decision. I realized I was making a decision that would affect decades of my life, so I thought the decision deserved the time and effort it would take to come to a long term conclusion. You're younger than me, so you have even more reason IMO to take the time you need.
IMO, the M can't be fixed on it's own. You have to heal you. Your W has to heal herself. Together you heal the M, but that works only if you both work on your own healing.
My reco is to focus on yourself. Figure out what you want. Figure out how you'll know if R is or is not working, and share that with your W. If she agrees, you can start R. If she doesn't agree with you on what R will be, and if she doesn't come up with alternatives that work for you, R will be a no-go. If your W falters and doesn't get back on track, R will be a no-go.
If you really do want R, figure out how you'll live a good life after D. That way you choose between 2 ways to win.
In most ways, I was at my lowest point when I was 5 months out. You can assure yourself that you will live a good life again, despite your W's infidelity. This is a blow, but you can survive and thrive.
*****
With CSA in the mix, my reco is to require your W do serious IC. I also recommend requiring her to sign a release allowing her IC to talk with you.
